And this is my beautiful life
The only thing certain is everything changes
The lows and the highs
And all those goodbyes
As hard as it gets I know it's still amazing
To be alive
It's a beautiful life
.blog
Monday, May 29, 2006
Yesterday night, I went outside and went to our duyan(or hammock or whatever). Wala lang naman, I was just lying down there watching the stars and thinking about stuff...un lang. But suddenly, a thought came, "Get a life!". I was shocked, confused, angry. I didn't expect it to be this way. Is this how a 12 year old girl thinks? I'm really confused!
I went to sleep with tears in my eyes. Also at that time, may nangyari sa bahay, that made me really mad and angry. I slept thinking of all the hate that is inside my heart. I keep on calling my mom, and telling her how I feel, but she doesn't even understand how I feel! I started to hate everbody, and everything! This really sucks! I can't believe it! Haaay!
I'm so sorry if I can't write to well here, I'm just not in the mood and I'm so depressed, frustrated, whatever! I'm so sorry.
Sunday, May 28, 2006
Yo~!!!! You know what...DNAngel rocks! I'm not gonna write a sypnosis or anything coz that would be boring and tiring, but...I'm gonna show you a really nice clip of Daisuke and Riku in the beach confessing...
Err, here it is:
Ya, it's in English not Japanese, but so what? Finally, I get to see them both confessing their feelings. I really squealed so hard when Daisuke said that he loves Riku, not Risa(hahaha! go to hell you slut! sorry, that wasn't me...). Even lil bro was so excited! Lol...grabeh na toh! Todo to the max! Maloloka na talaga ako!
Since I'm taking about DNAngel, I 'll share to all of you my thoughts about this anime.
I really liked this coz the plot is very thrilling. Bastah nood nalang kayo, I don't want to explain. And the love story is very cool too, it has so many twists. Second, there's Dark. A hot and cool bishounen in the anime. Grabeh sya ha...really. As in...gustoh ko talaga syang...err...nevermind. Ahhhh! Bastah, the anime is just so cool and thrilling, pero I'm really rooting for the love stroy there. Interesting talaga sya...and of course, nakakakilig rin no! Hay....
Speaking of Dark, I'm trying to assemble a layout pack that I downloaded in DaydreamGraphics(check the site out, it's in my links. raming mga skins doon na cool). It's Dark and his cool pose and all that. Hahaha, I'm Dark-obbsesed na...hehehehe. Bye-bye Shikamaru! *Shika outraged* jowks lang yun.
Bastah, wait nalang kayo sa susunod...ja ne! *shoves Dark inside m room* *evil laughter*
Thursday, May 25, 2006
My lil' bro is not here! Yey! XXXXD
So it's just me infront of the computer all day. Of course, I didn't waste my time in front of the pc. I went to No Limits and tired their coll and new tuts...uh....i'll try to post the results...I'm to lazy to upload them ya know. Went to KHQ, duh, but my friends are not online so I didtched the site. Then, went to deviantArt to submit my artwork. I submitted my newly made sigs...FYI you can submit sigs, skins, whatever to dA. Weeee! I'm so happy! I even made a Dark sig...so cool! I'm gonna use it in KHQ.
hahay...un lang. bye.
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
Finally! A new skin! I went on skin hunting for two weeks and ito lang ang nakita kong maganda. It also suits what I feel right now. Hoy! Not fallen as in may sala na malaki! The girl looks really sad and helpless, parang ako. And I hate the ImageMap kind...kakainis sya. I'm also gonna make a button for my blog too...wanna get accesorized.
Oh, a little trivia about this skin, the one who made this skin is a Pinay...really! Check my fwends list, her name's Fern...I don't know her personally, but I just wanna add her coz she's cool, lol.
This blog is now officially my place where I put ramblings about...err...hate. As what I said earlier, the skin reflects the way I feel right now, so ganyan sya. Hahay...my life is pretty turbulent and not happy. There maybe some post that are happy, but most of the time it will be hate. So get ready nalang kayo...okay?
Well, yan lang muna, gagawa pa ako ng button and sig for dA. Bye.
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
Today, for some strange reason, I've been doodling a lot. I dunno why...but my hand wants to just draw, draw, draw. Maybe it's because deviantArt makes me motivated. I've been wanting a dev ID, but it seems that I can't make one, coz' I'm bad at drawing and coloring, either using Photoshop or crayons. But who cares? It's a lot of fun! I really love ya know. Just let go of your imagination and draw whatever you feel...now that's my kind of art! Lol...I can't submit my doodles yet to dA(deviantArt...duh!), coz' it's not worth it. It sucks, doesn't have any color, and it sucks!!!
So I'm gonna post it here instead. I want all of you to rate my drawing[if someone is reading my blog...]. Here it is:
I cropped them and put it to one pic, and why did I crop it? Coz it's to big! And there's no color, coz' I don't have all the time in the world to color them,so I left them like that. I drew them in my Naruto notebook...coz I didn't buy a drawing book yet(walang pera eh!). Oh, and by the way, they're just random anime girls...but I think they're selfportraits of myself*grin*.
Here's my inspiration:
I followed Sasuke's posture in some of my drawings, which was really cool! And all the other details, but I still can't perfect the eyes and the hands though("_). Bastah, I followed the positon of the neck, which was really hard for me at first. Oh, I resized the images and added some text.
Wek,wek! Please give your comments or suggestions in my tagboard...'kay? Bye!
Monday, May 22, 2006
Actually, this happened yesterday...but I'll write as if it happened today, kasi I forgot to write it here yesterday...no really! So, here it goes:
This is one of the best day I ever had in my entire life! Why? Coz' I went to a parlor. =D. If you think it's pathethic for me to do it, then leave and don't read on! Shesh...sorry, not in a good mood kasi eh.
My mom and I went to Ricky Reyes parlor in SMCebu. I know it's local and that it's nothing to
sosyal/rich pips, but that's the only place we can afford=(...(besides, it's been a lont time since I went to a parlor^_^;;;). Para nga syan sosyal at mamahalin at first, but actually, it's just P180.00 for a cut, with blowdry and some other stuff. Anyways, I just want my hair trimmed, it was so long and unruly...really...wavy kasi eh. After the cut, blow dry doon at dyan, dalawang tao nga ang ng blowdry dahil wavy na buhok. Tapos spy pa sila ng hair gloss para my shine and all that...then...viola! A new and cool cut. When I looked in the mirror, I was so shocked, parang hindi ako noon! My hair was shiny and straight(blow dry)...and naka-lugay of course! I never knew that I look so beautiful when my hair is not tied(I usually tie my hair). Oh, and my mom also had a cut.
When we went back to the place where we are supose to meet(gosh it's gonna be another story...so not telling...sorry.), and my dad, sibs, kuya, and ates(helper namin), were so shocked! Akala nga nila ibang tao ako, at anf sabi pa nga ni Winky, "You look like a Japanese school girl!". I was really flaterred and shocked when he said that...finally a Jap school girl look! I suddenly said some Japanese words, my bro really freaked out when I did that...kakabaliw! Kahit si kuya napabilib sa cut ko(he always says I look uglyT_T). So cool talaga nun, and about the Jap school girl look...I swear! I really looked like one! Hindi nga lang ako naka-uniform, pero the hair looks like one! Sayang nga lang, wala akong pic of me on that time...sira ang digi cam namin eh! Shesh...
Oh, I wanna give thanks to the following: My mom, coz' she paid for the cut. Te Shawi(the gay who cut my hair), for the cool and rockin' cut. Lastly, my lil' bro, for complimenting me=D. Lol.
Lol....this is how I end my entry, and there's nothing you do it about it! Hahahaha!
Friday, May 19, 2006
Nothing much today...except that I downloaded a brushpack(finally!XD) and nakasabay ko naman si te Twinkle. Yey! XXXXXD.
After long and hard research on how to download brushes, I finally had my grunge and abstract brushback. It's still fresh from deviantart and I'll use them on my sigs from now on. I won't let my kuya now that I downloaded the brushes noh! He will burst into anger and will kill me(using words). So cool ng brushes na yun! My gosh! I love them! Yey!
And yes! Naabutan ko nanaman si twinkle. It's been a long time since hindi kami nagkausap noh! So ngayon usap na kami! Pero syang nga lang, timing na it's Winky's time to use the pc, so hindi gaano nakapag-usap ng maayos...so sad! Shesh...
Meron pa palang nangyari na cool dito sa buhay. My dad won a skateboard! Yey! Even though I don't know how to use it...but it rocks...you can call me Sk8ter girl from now on! Hehehe, kidding. He won it from a contest in our community(long and tiring to type story...sorry=P), and he said it was really a lot fun daw there...and hindi pa nya ako sinama! Hehehe, pang adults rin naman ung activity na yun(hindi adult-rated games(ung hindi mga bastos noh!)it was just adults ang pwede in there...no kids.). Meron paring ibang prizes...it's just that I'm too lazy to type them here. Lol...
Bye for now!
Thursday, May 18, 2006
I started learning how to code HTML, and it was....darn hard! My gosh! I went through a lot of site to read all of the tuts on how to code HTML and make a skin. Man, readig it made a little dizzy. I expected to it to be hard, yes it is hard, the only problem about this is remembering all the codes. The heading and body tags, balh,blah,blah is hard to remember. You expect me to remeber all the codes..what am I, a robot? Oh well...I thought I could get through it, peice of cake, but no...it drove me crazy...uh...almost. Hahaha, I'm getting crazy.
I think wanna quit in studying HTML...it's so hard....
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Seriously, I kept myself busy for the past few days for some strange reason...according to my friend that is.
I've been spending more time in the computer than the usual, because I 'study' HTML online. As in taking online tutorials about how to do HTML. I also take online tuts(tutorials)on how to make sigs...that's the secret on making my sigs. And I'm also busy with my Deviantart account. Well, I've been drawing like crazy because I feel like(but I think it's because of Deviantart).
When I told my friend about it(not close...just my classmate na pinagtiyagaan ko :P), she really freaked out! She said(paraphrased),"An anime and computer addict...your so weird!". Err, if you think I was depressed, then I was not. I'm kinda used to it already ya know...but oh well.
So to wrap it all up, I wanna do the following:
Last night was one of my best nights ever. Our family went to Teamrevival. It is a prayer meeting about God and discusses things about The Almighty, and this meeting is part of the activities of Elim community, which our family joined a long time ago. Anyways, the TeamRev is started out with a pre-worship, or we sing praises songs, and just be with The Lord through music and prayer. If you think that the music we are singing, is the oldies...think again buddy! It was like a rock concert yesterday. The music is so cool! (If you wanna hear it, just email me at chinky_girl@yahoo.com.ph)It's rock and not the oldies! After the pre-worship is the announcements and the happenings in the community. Now comes the best part...the teachings. The teachings are all about the Lord and it gives you tips on how to live spiritually in this world. If you think it's boring...then it's not!
Err, I was deeply touched ya know. The presence of the Lord really had a great impact on me. It was great. For the first time I felt so relaxed and amazing. I was very convinced that joining the community was a part of his plan to change me...completely. I was...no is happy! Refreshed and not tense anymore.
Un lang siguro for now.
Monday, May 15, 2006
Did you see the commercial in Disney channel saying, "Express yourself"? Well I did! Hahaha, the commercial is all about Disney stars saying some stuff and telling us to express ourselves in many different ways, like acting, dancing, and singing, etc.
why did I suddenly talk about Disney channel’s "express yourself" commercial? It's because I have a hard time expressing myself. They say, "You can express yourself through, music, acting, arts, etc.”. I do believe in that, it’s just so hard to do so. I ‘express’ myself, through writing entries in my blog, but it seems that there’s no use to it. A blog by the way is like your own personal diary. Anyways, it’s hard. I’ve been struggling about this since I started homeschooled.
I think I know why I’ve been struggling for the past years. It’s because (I think) I haven’t got nobody to talk to about my life. I have no best friend in my homeschool, and there’s nobody I can trust to tell my innermost feelings. Yes, a blog is like your own place, customize it and put your daily ramblings about life. I did do that, but it seems it didn’t help me. But I’m quite happy that I have my blog…it’s like I talk to it through my entries and all that.
Sunday, May 14, 2006
Errm, I just arrived from my long and tiring trip. I went to Esperanza,
I finally met my other cousins, whom I didn't know before. I also saw the surprised faces of my titos and titas, as what I said in my previous post. They were telling me, "You're so grown-up na! Just like your mom!” It's been a long since I didn't go there ya know! And I also got invited for dinner in different houses and eat, eat and eat=D. Un lang naman ang nangyari.
Going home to Cebu was also a big pain the butt. Since, the weather destroyed the road to the port; it took us five hours to get to the port. And may poste pang nakaharang so the travel was horrible...hehehe, wada expect? bagyo!
Lol, that's all for now. Bye!
Monday, May 08, 2006
Going away...from my family, from my friends, and most especially, from the computer.
Well, it's worth it anyways! I'm going to the province, by myself...err, I mean with my relative. My kuya, mom, dad, sibs, are not going with me. It's just me and my cousin. Lol, it's my decision anyways, and there's no regret about it. Besides, ang pupuntahan ko naman, ay beach, and it's very nice and cool there. I'll still try to be online, pero parang impossible, kasi walang computer doon(PROVINCE!!!). I will really miss the computer for sure, kasi I love the computer, it's like all my stuff are there na. Hahay, barko rin ang sasakyan namin pa probinsya. Matatagl-tagal na rin akong hindi nakasakay sa barko, I might get sea sick...and all that. Tourist din ung accomadation namin...so cool! Pero I'll miss my friends in KHQ, the computer and the internet, lahat ng mami-miss ko computer related=P! hehehe.
Kung may computer nga naman dun, I'll write in my blog all the things that I did. I'm sure it will be a blast! I think, from the moment I step from the ground I can see the shocked faces of my titas and titos...hehehe.
Bye Cebu! And the Internet!
Sunday, May 07, 2006
Today is the best day ever!
You know why? Cause, Twinklestar(refer to my previous post) is finally online! Just yesterday, I sent here PM, saying her to come back. And you know what? She replied and said she's back! Omigash! We just talked and talked and talked the whole time! It was so great! I was having a swell time. I miss her so much!
Grabeh talaga ng Photoshop noh. Web graphics and all that. Sigs, avvies, you name it. May animation pa! Lol, I love my Photoshop, and I'm very addicted to it! Hehehe, natapos ko nga yung sig na Seto. Ang gwapo nya talaga! As in. And I'm going to make a sig for twinkle nga eh. Hehehe, I love my Photoshop!
Another reason is, I finally saw ate Awdrey's blogidoo! It was so cute and simple! Mygosh, she even made the layout herself. That was really cool of her, I never expected her to make it. That was really awesome!
Should I change my skin or not? I'm having second thoughts. I want kasi a navigation thing and all that. Hahay....
I think, un lang ang gustong sabihin ngayon. Actually, I am in a good mood today, so no bad stuff and nandito. If there is, I'll make another post about it =D. BYE!
Friday, May 05, 2006
Well, today, i decided to make a few changes in my style of posting here. I want to speak in tagalog and bisaya when I write here. I don't care if the reader won't understand a thing...besides I think no one reads my blog(except my stalker...if there is any;D). I might say some english but who cares? Shesh....
Hahay, today ang labo ng day na to. I took the entrance exam for 1st year highschool sa USJR. Kakabaliw, kasi ung ibang questions sa test, hindi ko alam. It's not discussed sa old school ko, mind you, homeschooled ako. I was just making guesses...wala na talaga akong pag-asa. I was nervous kung papasa ba ako. Funny rin ung test, kasi ung IQ test that took, nakuha ko na yun sa old school ko. So, it's like I know na what to expect from that IQ test. Ung interview ko, kakabaliw rin. It's about technology not giving us the real hapiness that we find. Lol, totoo naman eh! Genuine hapiness is found in prayer, in the love of God. If you pray, parang gaga-an ung feeling mo. I tried it ya know, so walang syang duda. Un lang naman.
Parang gustoh ko ng i-tapon si Shikamaru at si Perriot. I thinky I'm going to Seto Kaiba na...he's hot noh! Suplado nga lang, pero he's so hot! Kung napapanood mo lang ung YuGiOh sa Hero, you'll see his softer side...as a good freind of Yami Yugi. Gosh, pero Shika is my first anime love...and I love him dearly! Aww...pero I do think that Seto is a hunk. XP
I think I'm getting bored of forums. I'm only happy when my fwends are online, coz that's where the fun starts. Talk about random stuff and all that. Lol, but I must spam noh! It's bad. And by the way, I miss ate twinkle and ate iris. I really want them online all the time. Ate twinkle is a vey dear person to me, she is the best forumer there. We are the one who started "Sasuke Hater's Club", but unfortunately it was locked down kasi we were to violent, and kept killing Sasuke in our dreams. Ate Iris is also the best! She is the one who witnessed my unconditional love for Shikamaru. She is the best chatmate ever! Pero she's not that online so much na, just like ate twinkle. Hahay, I miss those guys. They're so fun to be with.
I went to this site...it's cherrysplash.net. There were so many 'dolls' in that site, that I was fascinated at! *wacks herself in the head* After a few hours of browsing the site, I hated it eventually. They were like strippers! Eww! There was to much girly-ness and vanitiness. I dumped that site! But there was something really fascinating there, the backgrounds and blank banners. I got tired of making my own background, so I saved it and tweecked it a little, and made it into a sig! I'm going to use it for my blogidoo, so cute sya! And speaking of sigs, I'm planning to make a Seto sig. Lol, just for fun...that's all, walang personalan Shika at Perriot.
My neck hurts! I was headbanging yesterday to the opening song of Yakitate! Japan, so that's why. i never knew that headbanging is so hard and takes a lot of practice. Headbanging is not my thing. My neck still hurts! AWWWWWWWWW!
I think that's i'm gonna post for this day...my daily ramble and all that...shesh...
Thursday, May 04, 2006
Today, I finished making the sig that Isay requested. The idae just popped out of nowhere, but I'm really glad that I already made it! I gave a lot of effort, put my heart into it and gave my all. Just like what Kazuma did to his CanapesJapan(yahoo!).
I was still thinking if she would like it or not. I was nervous if she will throw it away, but I must be strong and face her critic, whether it is good or not. I PMed it to her, and I said in the message:
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
Hmm, this is so frustrating. Isay(a friend of mine in KHQ) requested me to nake her a Kazuma Azuma siggy. At first I thought it would really be so darn easy that I can do it in 15-30 mins. Actually, I make sigs for almost an hour so yun. But I was dead wrong! It's so hard, especially if it's not yours. What I'm trying to say is, what if this signature doesn't satisfy her? Or something like that, but that's how I feel. I'm not saying that I don't wanna make a sig for her, it's just that, what would she feel about my work? Every night I can't sleep coz' of this job. Oh dear...
I'm the kind of person that gets depressed whenever nobody likes my work. Just like in KHQ, i get kinda depressed when nobody responds to my topic. I really am like that. Sorry about my attitude but that's the way it is. And I kinda feel I wanna give up to this work. But as what they say, "Never give up!". As I wrote this sentence, an anime line came into my mind by Manager Ken of Yakitate! Japan(i'm just paraphrasing), "Kasi ang iniispi niya yung reaction ng mga tao kaysa tinapay niya ang bigyan ng pansin!" Err, as in I'm only pressuring myself...yes, i'm just pressure.
I know! Never give up, but this is so hard! I've been thinking negative about this, which I should not be doing. Instead, I should think of it as a challenge. A challenge on how am I gonna make my sig, without depending on the online tutorials. Okey, maybe they will be my refrence but still! Hahaha, I should thank Isay because she gave me this 'challenge'. But I'm still afraid and not willing. I should be brave and be determined!
Err, so I blurted out how i feel...that's all
Monday, May 01, 2006
Ehem...today is a shocking day for me coz:
The Return of the Condor Heroes follows the growth and development of the brave and handsome hero Yang Guo, and focuses on his love for his martial arts teacher, Dragon Girl. Although Yang appears to flirt with girls all the time, his love for Dragon Girl is actually undivided and everlasting. Morals during ancient times forbid a disciple to fall in love with his master, but he does not care how others see him and his love for Dragon Girl remains immovable and unconditional....
Newly graduated Kumiko Yamaguchi wants to make her mark on the Japanese educational system as a teacher. All well and good until she finds out that the school she'll be teaching at has its fair share of troublemakers and rabble-rousers. The ruffians at the school don't frighten her though for she has a secret of her own-she's a fourth generation crime syndicate member and next in line to head it up. She's gone straight and wants to be a teacher though, but she's one person in whose class you don't want to be caught fooling around! |
NTV |